some hopecore audios cuz subaru changed my life

Sometimes life hits you so hard that you think it's over and you'll never recover. I was in that darkness for a really long time. Picking up a book was hard enough but even getting out of bed started to feel impossible for me. But I had responsibilities... there were people who expected things from me after all. Even thinking about this gave me a headache every single time. Whenever I told myself okay this is it and stood up I realized I was doing nothing but daydreaming. That's why I always defined myself as helpless lazy and useless. And I just couldn't understand the people who loved me or had hope in me. Most of the time thinking I was a disappointment and a bad child for my mom made me feel like garbage. Even when I wanted to try I couldn't do it, it felt like gravity was pulling me to the bottom of the earth. Yeah I said to myself I'm worthless. I had 3 su!cide attempts. On the last one my mom caught me. I felt such an overwhelming guilt in that moment I can't even describe it. What right did I have to do this to this woman who works day and night for me and thinks about my future... I told myself at least I'll try to live. Even if it's not a huge success I will do this. And then I came across Natsuki Subaru. To most people he was maybe just a fictional character behind a screen but for me he turned into a mirror where I saw myself. He was helpless just like me, he didn't know what to do either, he cried so many times, wanted to give up, found himself helpless and hateful. Watching his powerlessness when he thought loved ones were getting hurt because of his own inadequacy was like watching myself in front of the screen. But Subaru taught me something: hitting rock bottom is nothing to be ashamed of and true strength is being able to start "from zero" again even in your most ruined moment. I saw the courage of someone who hated himself taking one more step despite everything. That "I hate myself" rant he gave to Rem was the scream I've been shouting inside for years without hearing it from anyone else. And the decision to "start from zero" right after that... that's when something shifted in my head. I realized I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to create miracles or accomplish crazy things. Sometimes just staying alive and continuing to breathe is a huge victory on its own. I realized I want to be someone who doesn't give up despite everything instead of being a disappointment to my mom. Gravity is still trying to pull me down and those dark voices in my head still whisper sometimes but giving up is not an option anymore. If you are reading this right now and everything feels too much: please just hold on one more day. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Like Rem said - "Let's start from one... No from zero!" timestamps: 00:00 - edit by zav 00:13 - 1 00:27 - 2 00:46 - 3 00:57 - 4 01:12 - 5 01:31 - 6 01:41 - 7 02:03 - 8 02:23 - 9 02:48 - 10 03:04 - 11 03:29 - 12 03:46 - 13 04:01 - 14 04:13 - 15 04:39 - 16/ edit by ivaxian 05:16 - 17 05:49 - 18 06:13 - 19 06:32 - 20 06:55 - 21 07:04 - 22 07:15 - 23 07:34 - 24 08:01 - 25 08:18 - 26 08:43 - 27 08:56 - 28 09:09 - 29 09:42 - 30 10:03 - 31 10:30 - 32 second part of season 4 is in 4 days btw i'm so excited even though i read the ligth novel :D #hopecore #rezero #subaru #subarunatsuki #audios #audio #hopeless #mentalhealth #anime #editaudios