I Saw Street Fighter and Now I'm Blind in My Right Eye

The Possum tells you about the new Street Fighter movie that exists for some reason. I saw a weevil on my desk as I started writing this description, but that's not at all relevant to the movie, which itself is not relevant to anything. It's a stupid popcorn movie which you won't remember anymore than you will remember the McNuggets you ate yesterday, or the ones you ate today, or the one's you're going to eat tomorrow, you fat, disgusting slob. If you have a low IQ and are easily impressed by bright colors and people spinning around, this might distract you from your crushing sense of loneliness, but you might as well just touch yourself for two hours. At least that's free, and there won't be any theater employees judging you. No, you'll just be judged by your reflection in the mirror. But when you see that guy, you can look him dead in the eye and say, "Why isn't there an adult parody called Skeet Fighter?" Consult your Bible for answers to that question. Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DrShaym Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ReviewsPossum Submit your fan art: https://www.facebook.com/DrShaym/