Abaddon the Disappointed and the 13th Financial Scampaign

Abaddon the Disappointed and the 13th Financial Scampaign. We follows the rise and fall of Black Crusade Incorporated, the startup run by Abaddon, a venture capital golden boy chasing the FIRE dream. After twelve failed startups, a Cadian market takeover, and a memecoin scheme, he discovers that he was the biggest mark of all. This is for Warhammer 40K fans who enjoy corporate satire. Chapters 00:00 - Opening: Q3 targets and Series 13 funding 00:14 - The FIRE dream and early retirement 00:28 - Abaddon, the golden boy of venture capital 00:40 - Spoiler: Crusade 13 and the Cadian Gate 00:56 - The catch: a $1 trillion IPO and a breakdown 01:09 - Horus and the galaxy’s biggest credit trap 01:28 - The Chaos Gods’ 0% interest deal 01:41 - Terms of service and the market that didn’t go up 01:57 - Horus’s Buy Now, Pay Later scheme 02:13 - Horus goes bankrupt, Abaddon makes a vow 02:33 - Iron Warriors quiet quit over dental insurance 02:48 - The Eye of Terror co-working space 03:02 - A checked-out team paid in WarpCoin 03:13 - Shadowbanned and out of capital 03:27 - Finance influencer and the WarpCoin memecoin 03:42 - Crypto copium and diamond hands 04:04 - Targeting citizens drowning in Doom Spending 04:16 - Everything sucks, and the Chaos exit scams 04:29 - Burnout behind the hype 04:41 - Four gig jobs and KPIs for Khorne 04:54 - Four delivery apps and the final boss 05:05 - A boring war of attrition 05:15 - Sigismund’s lawsuits and red tape 05:27 - Sigismund falls, Abaddon wants praise 05:42 - “You sold the FIRE dream to your interns” 05:53 - Side hustles to pay the Chaos VC 06:04 - Company man versus permanent debtor 06:15 - Cadian market shatters, stock hits all-time high 06:25 - The biggest mark of all 06:36 - No financial independence, no early retirement 06:50 - Outro: welcome to Warhammer 40K